SOMETIMES IT SEEMS that I have been a mother for a very, very long time. My eldest son was nineteen when my youngest was born, and though they are all adults now, they will always be my children — always a source of care, concern, and love. Being a mother is an impossible job to do perfectly, but we do the best we can. Along the way, we experience the hopes and fears and joys and griefs of nurturing our infants to independence.
In honor of mothers and mothering, and the upcoming Mothers’ Day, I offer the following prompts for mothers to reflect upon our perspectives on motherhood and our roles in the lives of our children and grandchildren.
- Make a list of at least 5 similarities between you and each your children. Which of these traits do you consider strengths, and how will (or have) these strengths help(ed) your children navigate life.
– - Considering each child individually, what do you worry most about him or her? How much anxiety do you carry around with you as a result of this worry? What would happen if you let go of the worry?
– - Freewrite for ten minutes contrasting what it means to you to be a “mother” vs. being a “parent.”
– - Describe your ideal relationship with your children and grandchildren. How might you nurture and create those ideal relationships?
– - Consider the following quote from Nadia Boulanger: Loving a child doesn’t mean giving in to all his whims; to love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult. What does it mean to “love what is difficult”?
– - Consider the following quote from Katrina Kenison: Perhaps it’s human nature: We want to shield our children from pain, and what we get instead is life and heartache and lessons that bring us to our knees. Sooner or later we are handed the brute, necessary curriculum of surrender, we have no choice, then but to bow our heads and learn. We struggle to accept that our children’s destinies are not ours to write, their battles not ours to fight, their bruises not ours to bear, nor their victories ours to take credit for.
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Do you agree with Kenison? Why or why not? What experiences in your life as a mother support your viewpoint?
– - What is or has been the best, most joyous, aspect of being a mother?
Please share your responses to these prompts as well as your thoughts on motherhood.
Each of these prompts promise a glimpse into what a mother/parent experiences along the way. I plan to write about them all. Thank you for another thoughtful, inspiring post.
Okay here is a joyful moment of being mom to my youngest son, Jim. When he was a teenager he always wanted the best, most expensive, designer jeans. Now that he’s an adult he told me not long ago, “Mom, no wonder you never bought me those designer jeans. I can find them cheaper now and they’re just as good!” I love these payback moments.
It’s the small things that count, as they say — and also that bring laughter and joy. Thank you for sharing, Barb.