SO, YOU THINK you’ve just met the perfect boy, girl, man, or woman. Journaling through all the ups and downs at the beginning of a new relationship can help you understand your emotions and keep your head in the process. Journal writing gives you the opportunity to express and clarify your feelings in a safe and private way, as well as celebrate the newness of the connection.
You are probably aware that romantic love usually begins with infatuation and also know its symptoms: You are carried away by love for the other person and can’t stop thinking about him or her. Just thinking about her makes your heart beat more quickly and your face flush. He’s handsome, you share common interests, and sure, you know he has some faults — you just can’t see them yet. You are excited to see her but become unbearably awkward and shy in her presence. When you are away from him, you are miserable and have no appetite.
Bundled together, these feelings are also known as New Relationship Energy (NRE) or the Honeymoon Phase. Falling in love is a wonderful feeling and, if you’re in that phase of a relationship, enjoy it! But it’s also good to enter into any new relationship with intention and understanding.
Here are some journal writing prompts to help you keep your balance:
1. Write a love poem. It’s okay, make it sappy, silly, fun — whatever you want! The point is to express yourself.
2. Write down every feeling you have when you think about this person. When have you experienced those feelings before? What memories are attached to those feelings?
3. In the past, when you had an argument with someone you loved, how did you feel and behave? Is there anything about that behavior that you would like to change for the future? Write about it.
4. Make a list of all the things you like and admire about the new person in your life. Now, for each of those things, write down its opposite. Pick one or more of the opposite traits and write about how and when that trait is good to have. For example, let’s say you wrote that you like his or her sense of humor. The opposite of that might be seriousness. Write about when it’s beneficial to be serious and when having a sense of humor might be inappropriate or irritating.
5. Write about how you like to show your love to others, what kinds of things others do that make you feel loved, and how you know when someone cares about you.
6. Finish the following sentence: In the eyes of my ideal lover, I am …
7. What does it mean to love yourself and to accept yourself as you are? Are these the same things or different? How? And how does loving and accepting yourself affect your ability to love and accept others?
8. List the qualities of good communication. Which of these is most important to you and why?
9. Write a list of all the people in your life you trust (you can include people from your past). What qualities do these people have that makes (or made) you able to trust them?
10. What is the most important thing you can do to nurture a loving relationship? Think about people you know who are in good relationships. How do they demonstrate this quality/action/trait?
You can also use these writing prompts as conversation starters to get to know each other better.
I invite you to join the conversation. Leave a comment about these prompts or share your own prompts. I look forward to hearing from you!
Image Credit: Newport Beach Conference and Visitors Bureau